[[It is entirely his fault. If he'd have learned what a boundary is before all this, maybe not have thought something as funny as abandoning Vance to go enjoy the company of other people in various ways for all things considered, there'd never have been this fight, there never would have been the stinging bite on his neck or the stinging bite that he still feels in his heart, too. Despite that Vance seems to be opening back up, not shut down in the middle of snowdicks, it still doesn't feel okay. In fact it feels 0k. Which isn't at all okay.
When nothing gets said after he barely speaks his last bit of words before trailing off, that scares him even more. There were certain lines in both directions they both don't really cross. He crossed it by psuedo saying it in the water and he'd crossed it out right here. Being in love isn't something either of them had the leisure to do, at least back home, the risk to accept either. But they'd gone and done it. Some how gone and fallen flat faced bold in love with each other and Shades didn't want it any differently, not now, not in 100 years from now and he'd almost fucked it up too, if not the specific person fucking it up. That may be Vance's domain normally but it was his, right now he was Knight of Fuckup more like.
He saw the Troll lean up, letting his eyes slide closed, leaning in return to meet him half way and covet the other's lips, their taste, even if somewhat coppery. But he takes it at any rate. He's not outpacing it, not making it out to be anything but a kiss to comfort the both of them. The interest in giving up on said kiss or letting it become all too brief when it felt so consummate, how could he want to feel anything but the words behind that kiss. If the blond wasn't so busy with his mouth, he may have smiled. Without meaning to, really, Shades has become one of those shitty romance stories that he picks apart. While his arms wrap around a little tighter to the troll to pull him in and deny his leaving this kiss any time soon.
Normally he'd have tried to push his boundaries. That was the way Shades was. This time he just wanted the overwhelming warmth and the sigh against Vance's face through his nose said more about his need for this closeness than if he'd said it out loud. Just how much this had made him feel a bit more secure again. Vance didn't have to say it back, he hadn't ever heard a Troll he remembered go screaming out 'I love you'. But this more than conveyed it, there was nothing to make up for. Shades had a lot to make up for. Making him cry? That's unacceptable.
So, apparently, is the lack of oxygen to his lungs despite breathing through his nose where he had been trying to exclusively breathe for however long he could manage this flawless feeling kiss. Despite the bit of burn, his lips stay pliantly against Vance's as long as he could, finally having to part long enough to breathe deeply through his mouth. No heavy, quick panting, just calm, deep breaths, but he couldn't bring himself to tear away from this grey-skinned, irresistible, sharktoothed asshole. It didn't matter how cold it was or wasn't where they were both knelt in the snow, he couldn't have cared less.
His voice had lost most tone, heart busy fluttering in his throat somewhere to make it almost sound like the whisper he ended up using wasn't his own, normally confident voice.]]
Vance?
[[He had to take a moment to regain his voice, the test hadn't gone as well.]]
I don't wanna go home on my own tonight. No-homo though, I'll keep my hands to myself in that respect.
[[Slender fingers, belying of their ability and skill, press up in to Vance's hair, avoiding his horn, but all the same stroking through the strands. Times like this when they were alone, or could be, was so nice. No chance of someone coming up on them to embarrass them specifically. It would have definitely separated them and Shades was pretty sure he couldn't handle that right now. Right now what he wanted was just this.]]
Just. Want t'wake up and listen to you bitch about how I'm up in the middle of your night. Or that I hog blankets. That I likely talk in my damn sleep, or that I'm cold as fuck all the time and you gotta do all the work t'warm us both up like now.
[[On an otherwise serene, if not stoic, face, the smallest of up-quirks finds its way to Shades' lips, fingers continuing their light-tipped paths.]]
You can say no, I won't be upset. But it gets real hard t'kiss like that one if I'm far's fuck away.
[[To elaborate on his point and so he didn't take Vance's ability to speak away, the corners of Vance's lips were his target, giving them one kiss each.]]
I'll even give you th'thing I drug you up here t'get, you know t'sweeten the deal. Spoiler alert, it isn't a cock either.
[Love is a terrifying thing. So fickle, so fragile, that even saying it seems like it could shatter anything it's attached to. At one point, when he was young, he thought loved Terezi. Even more recently, he'd thought he loved Dirk. While the former and the latter are incomparable, they both ended badly, in some way or another. And maybe that's why he's so hesitant to say it now, so scared to lose what he has. But, does it matter? He has him here, and he'll have him even when he goes back home. Despite them not remembering their time here, the stupid times they've been through and will go through, he'll still have him. But... for how long? Neither of them can predict the outcome of the upcoming battles, if Shades will survive, or if Vance will make it back in time before everything's over. It's terrifying, and yet, he knows how stupid he's being.
Arms tighten around the older boy, pulling him closer, almost desperately, before the kiss breaks and Shades starts to speak again. No. He can't let him slip away from him, can't ruin everything. But, shit. It doesn't seem like the right time. He doesn't want the words to seem like an afterthought, like they weren't as important as they were meant to be. So, for a bit longer, he withholds them.
Be it for the warmth or merely for his own sake, Vance rubs his cheek against the other's, and is careful and slow in his movements as he presses a kiss to the bite mark, another apology for it.]
You're more than fucking welcome in my room. Hell, none of my roommates would even judge us. Two of them practically share a fucking futon every night as it is. No one would say a fucking word to us, and we can spend all day tomorrow in bed watching shitty movies.
[[Shades doesn't need to hear a thing to know it, hearing it would be nice but he's not focused on what he's not gotten and more focused on the fact he'd almost fucked it up for the sake of a 'good one liner'. Those arms around him tell him more than he could ever hope to want to hear at the moment and all he wanted was for the continued stay together. If Vance said no, he'd understand, but all things considered wanted nothing further from him than maybe if one of them had to go to the bathroom real quick and then run back after washing their hands. That was the only time apart that Shades needed from Vance.
He didn't flinch this time when Vance went to his neck, in fact, even though it burns, Shades held it in, making sure that any subtle pains weren't echoed out. He could deal with it, it wasn't bad at all. The shock had hurt him more than the bite thankfully, those sharp teeth. Setting his forehead against Vance's after, he smiled a lopsided, satisfied smile.]]
I want that.
[[The time with him, he wanted it desperately.]]
Just a detour to get Car and I'll be happy t'stay all day lazy and still sexy as all get out on the bed covers coming up with names of what to call 'em.
[[A moment passes and Shades leans in to give just a brief press of his lips to Karkat's.]]
I don't care if someone say somethin' you know. Not now. Don't know why I ever cared, I ain't ashamed of you. I joke about groupies but I ain't ashamed.
[[He's forgotten why he's brought Vance here, the trinket in his hand that he kept tucked in his fingers. How could he bother to remember when Vance threw curling up all day at him.]]
[Because the detour to Shades' room meant parting, and while normally he doesn't find himself feeling so damn clingy, now... Right now he feels he needs it, doesn't know what he would do without it. He hadn't been close to losing him, but even feeling like it was a line they almost crossed... So long as he has him by his side, it'll be okay.]
I love you, no matter how fucking stupid both of us can be.
[The words are almost a whisper against lips, spoken after that brief kiss. Because... yeah. yeah, he thinks he can say it not. Can mean it, without being afraid of what he could possibly lose. What he doesn't deserve. But his mind also supplies him with another fact, of the reason he was supposedly brought up here in the first place for.]
What'd you bring me up here for?
[Because they can forget all the drama, forget the fight, the pain. They've got each other, and neither of them are going anywhere unless it's down to the first floor to curl up under Vance's futon together.]
[[Vance saying to him that the other pokemon could go get his precious Car almost threw him, it had meant being apart, but not for more than a minute and ... Even that seemed too much for Vance. They had fucked up, or rather, Shades had and had Vance run off, had something like that happened, no amount of 'sorry' would feel right.
In fact, if Vance had gone nothing in his life would feel the sa-- The words he thinks he heard bring him to more attention to what was just said and he plays it over in his head. He wasn't going to start a 'who was worse' argument, he knows its him. He can't help but smirk, not a sly one or any the sort, but a lopsided, just maybe a bit shy at hearing 'I love you' so casually.
Vance was much smoother on the delivery than his was, he'll give the troll that.]]
Bring you...?
[[His mind is still firmly locked into the sound of Vance's voice and it takes him a second and a glint of light to remember.]]
OH.. Close your eyes. I promise nothing to do with dicks.
[The odd request has Vance raising his brows, but complying none the less. There's even a soft snort of amusement at the assurance it has nothing to do with dicks. Despite the snow dicks around them, he hadn't even considered such a thing until the asshole brought it up. And yet, here he is, waiting patiently for whatever this whole thing was about. Maybe... Maybe they hadn't ruined the moment. Or, they'd ruined it so badly beyond repair, that they're starting over now, pretending like that huge fuck up didn't happen. Even if it did, and they're both carrying pretty heavy emotional wounds from it, even now.
But closing his eyes isn't only complying with his request, but showing just how much he trusts the idiot human with whatever it is he has planned. Letting his guard down like this, leaving himself completely vulnerable. Something he never would have considered, not even, especially not even around Terezi. But with Shades, he knows he can trust him with anything.]
[[He does know what it is to ask a Troll trust him, but he himself trusts Vance to know he'd never hurt him. Well. That he'd aim to not hurt him, he'd just hurt him in a way that Shades thought irreparable. He still thinks so and to be honest, they needed the time. The older blond had been wanting to ask to stay with Vance for some time, he didn't intend it to turn in to anything more than likely cuddling until they fell asleep, perhaps a few ninja stolen kisses. That sort.
The other day in the water had shown him he may have a want for more but that now isn't the time.
He waits until those eyes are tightly shut, testing it with one hand to see if any reaction came about.]]
Here then, don't fuckin' laugh, I'm not good at this shit but I had... I had extra wire at work and I know you don't have your sweater here.
[[Though he'd seen it on Z, that's for sure. Shades takes a moment to adjust a small, what likely feels like braided, slightly frayed fabric, something he clearly salvaged to try to make stronger together. Then once he had it tied at the back, let the wire bit hang a little warm and a little cold against Vance's red shirt. The item is very clearly 'forced' in to form, by hands that didn't know what they were doing, only memorizing a shape that meant certain familiarity to at least Shades.]]
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phazeandblood) wrote2015-09-24 06:49 pm
no subject
In fact it feels 0k. Which isn't at all okay.When nothing gets said after he
barelyspeaks his last bit of words before trailing off, that scares him even more. There were certain lines in both directions they both don't really cross. He crossed it by psuedo saying it in the water and he'd crossed it out right here. Being in love isn't something either of them had the leisure to do, at least back home, the risk to accept either. But they'd gone and done it. Some how gone and fallen flat faced bold in love with each other and Shades didn't want it any differently, not now, not in 100 years from now and he'd almost fucked it up too, if not the specific person fucking it up. That may be Vance's domain normally but it was his, right now he was Knight of Fuckup more like.He saw the Troll lean up, letting his eyes slide closed, leaning in return to meet him half way and covet the other's lips, their taste, even if somewhat coppery. But he takes it at any rate. He's not outpacing it, not making it out to be anything but a kiss to comfort the both of them. The interest in giving up on said kiss or letting it become all too brief when it felt so consummate, how could he want to feel anything but the words behind that kiss. If the blond wasn't so busy with his mouth, he may have smiled. Without meaning to, really, Shades has become one of those shitty romance stories that he picks apart. While his arms wrap around a little tighter to the troll to pull him in and deny his leaving this kiss any time soon.
Normally he'd have tried to push his boundaries. That was the way Shades was. This time he just wanted the overwhelming warmth and the sigh against Vance's face through his nose said more about his need for this closeness than if he'd said it out loud. Just how much this had made him feel a bit more secure again. Vance didn't have to say it back, he hadn't ever heard a Troll he remembered go screaming out 'I love you'. But this more than conveyed it, there was nothing to make up for. Shades had a lot to make up for. Making him cry? That's unacceptable.
So, apparently, is the lack of oxygen to his lungs despite breathing through his nose where he had been trying to exclusively breathe for however long he could manage this flawless feeling kiss. Despite the bit of burn, his lips stay pliantly against Vance's as long as he could, finally having to part long enough to breathe deeply through his mouth. No heavy, quick panting, just calm, deep breaths, but he couldn't bring himself to tear away from this grey-skinned, irresistible, sharktoothed asshole. It didn't matter how cold it was or wasn't where they were both knelt in the snow, he couldn't have cared less.
His voice had lost most tone, heart busy fluttering in his throat somewhere to make it almost sound like the whisper he ended up using wasn't his own, normally confident voice.]]
Vance?
[[He had to take a moment to regain his voice, the test hadn't gone as well.]]
I don't wanna go home on my own tonight. No-homo though, I'll keep my hands to myself in that respect.
[[Slender fingers, belying of their ability and skill, press up in to Vance's hair, avoiding his horn, but all the same stroking through the strands. Times like this when they were alone, or could be, was so nice. No chance of someone coming up on them to embarrass them specifically. It would have definitely separated them and Shades was pretty sure he couldn't handle that right now. Right now what he wanted was just this.]]
Just. Want t'wake up and listen to you bitch about how I'm up in the middle of your night. Or that I hog blankets. That I likely talk in my damn sleep, or that I'm cold as fuck all the time and you gotta do all the work t'warm us both up like now.
[[On an otherwise serene, if not stoic, face, the smallest of up-quirks finds its way to Shades' lips, fingers continuing their light-tipped paths.]]
You can say no, I won't be upset. But it gets real hard t'kiss like that one if I'm far's fuck away.
[[To elaborate on his point and so he didn't take Vance's ability to speak away, the corners of Vance's lips were his target, giving them one kiss each.]]
I'll even give you th'thing I drug you up here t'get, you know t'sweeten the deal. Spoiler alert, it isn't a cock either.
no subject
Arms tighten around the older boy, pulling him closer, almost desperately, before the kiss breaks and Shades starts to speak again. No. He can't let him slip away from him, can't ruin everything. But, shit. It doesn't seem like the right time. He doesn't want the words to seem like an afterthought, like they weren't as important as they were meant to be. So, for a bit longer, he withholds them.
Be it for the warmth or merely for his own sake, Vance rubs his cheek against the other's, and is careful and slow in his movements as he presses a kiss to the bite mark, another apology for it.]
You're more than fucking welcome in my room. Hell, none of my roommates would even judge us. Two of them practically share a fucking futon every night as it is. No one would say a fucking word to us, and we can spend all day tomorrow in bed watching shitty movies.
no subject
He didn't flinch this time when Vance went to his neck, in fact, even though it burns, Shades held it in, making sure that any subtle pains weren't echoed out. He could deal with it, it wasn't bad at all. The shock had hurt him more than the bite thankfully, those sharp teeth. Setting his forehead against Vance's after, he smiled a lopsided, satisfied smile.]]
I want that.
[[The time with him, he wanted it desperately.]]
Just a detour to get Car and I'll be happy t'stay all day lazy and still sexy as all get out on the bed covers coming up with names of what to call 'em.
[[A moment passes and Shades leans in to give just a brief press of his lips to Karkat's.]]
I don't care if someone say somethin' you know. Not now. Don't know why I ever cared, I ain't ashamed of you. I joke about groupies but I ain't ashamed.
[[He's forgotten why he's brought Vance here, the trinket in his hand that he kept tucked in his fingers. How could he bother to remember when Vance threw curling up all day at him.]]
no subject
[Because the detour to Shades' room meant parting, and while normally he doesn't find himself feeling so damn clingy, now... Right now he feels he needs it, doesn't know what he would do without it. He hadn't been close to losing him, but even feeling like it was a line they almost crossed... So long as he has him by his side, it'll be okay.]
I love you, no matter how fucking stupid both of us can be.
[The words are almost a whisper against lips, spoken after that brief kiss. Because... yeah. yeah, he thinks he can say it not. Can mean it, without being afraid of what he could possibly lose. What he doesn't deserve. But his mind also supplies him with another fact, of the reason he was supposedly brought up here in the first place for.]
What'd you bring me up here for?
[Because they can forget all the drama, forget the fight, the pain. They've got each other, and neither of them are going anywhere unless it's down to the first floor to curl up under Vance's futon together.]
no subject
In fact, if Vance had gone nothing in his life would feel the sa-- The words he thinks he heard bring him to more attention to what was just said and he plays it over in his head. He wasn't going to start a 'who was worse' argument, he knows its him. He can't help but smirk, not a sly one or any the sort, but a lopsided, just maybe a bit shy at hearing 'I love you' so casually.
Vance was much smoother on the delivery than his was, he'll give the troll that.]]
Bring you...?
[[His mind is still firmly locked into the sound of Vance's voice and it takes him a second and a glint of light to remember.]]
OH..
Close your eyes. I promise nothing to do with dicks.
no subject
But closing his eyes isn't only complying with his request, but showing just how much he trusts the idiot human with whatever it is he has planned. Letting his guard down like this, leaving himself completely vulnerable. Something he never would have considered, not even, especially not even around Terezi. But with Shades, he knows he can trust him with anything.]
no subject
The other day in the water had shown him he may have a want for more but that now isn't the time.
He waits until those eyes are tightly shut, testing it with one hand to see if any reaction came about.]]
Here then, don't fuckin' laugh, I'm not good at this shit but I had... I had extra wire at work and I know you don't have your sweater here.
[[Though he'd seen it on Z, that's for sure. Shades takes a moment to adjust a small, what likely feels like braided, slightly frayed fabric, something he clearly salvaged to try to make stronger together. Then once he had it tied at the back, let the wire bit hang a little warm and a little cold against Vance's red shirt. The item is very clearly 'forced' in to form, by hands that didn't know what they were doing, only memorizing a shape that meant certain familiarity to at least Shades.]]
Okay, open your eyes.